To Smash or Not to Smash!

A wedding day is built around tradition. From exchanging rings, toasts from the best man and maid of honor, tossing the bouquet and cutting the cake. At some point in time couples started smashing the cake into each other’s faces and today it is a hotly debated question. To smash, or not to smash???

The original tradition of feeding cake to one another symbolized their commitment to provide for each other throughout their lives. The cake smashing element dates as far back as ancient Rome when a bride could expect to have barley cake smashed on her head to symbolize male dominance and encourage fertility. The crumbs that fell from the cake would be gathered up by the guests in hopes it would add to their good fortune.

Modern cake smashing has been around for decades. The original meaning was spelled out in the 1987 book, "Curious Customs.” The groom holds the bride's hand as she cuts the cake; she then attempts to feed him but smashes the cake in his face. The next step is to wipe off the goo "apologetically" which then "brings the play back to the beginning, as she is once again obedient to his wiser judgment," according to the book.

Most people see it as either fun or a silly custom that needs to disappear. Similar to bouquet and garter tossing the tradition of cake smashing has been in decline. People do not want to ruin their beautiful clothes, makeup and accessories. They also may have agreed before the wedding that it is not something they as a part of their reception.

Whether you choose to smash the cake or not, the key to success is to communicate with your partner beforehand and decide what you are both comfortable with. If your partner is adamant that they do not want cake smashed in their face our advice is to not surprise them with a slice to the nose. If you are both into it then go ahead! Your wedding is your day and you should do what you want!